Considerations For Parenting A Special Needs Child When Determining Custody

Posted on: 28 November 2018

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There are lots of factors that are involved when two divorcing parents work with their attorneys to decide a suitable custody arrangement for their children. When the parents share a special needs child, however, even more factors come into play. It's critically important to always be mindful of what is best for your children during custody discussions, but this is even more important when one of your children has special needs. Ideally, you and your spouse will be able to put your differences aside while you consider which parent is better equipped to have custody of the child. Here are some considerations.

Comfort With Care

Children who have different special needs require different types of care. Sometimes, one parent is simply more comfortable with providing this care than the other parent. For example, if your child is in a wheelchair, he or she obviously has trouble getting around. It may be the case that you or your partner is better at pushing the wheelchair — perhaps because of more physical strength. It might seem simple, but if one parent is five feet tall and weighs 110 pounds, the other parent is six feet tall and 200 pounds, and the child in the wheelchair weighs 160 pounds, the fact is that the bigger parent may be better equipped to push the child in the wheelchair.

Patience With Issues

Raising a child with special needs can be a difficult job for parents, and things will often get harder when the parents are no longer together. It's important to think about which parent possesses more patience with the child's issues. Some parents are just better at being calm and patient under stress. For example, if the child has a lot of outbursts, one parent may be comfortable with allowing them to pass, while the other parent might actually get mad at the child and attempt to curb this behavior. You could honestly be thinking about this dynamic when you discuss custody.

Work Schedule Flexibility

Both parents might work, but you should evaluate whose work schedule offers more flexibility. If your child attends a care program during the day, you might sometimes get called because he or she is having an outburst and needs to be picked up. Some peoples' jobs allow them to drop what they're doing and go get the child, while this can be difficult for other people. Ideally, one parent will be a strong candidate for obtaining physical custody of the special needs child. For more advice on determining a suitable custody arrangement of a special needs child, consult your divorce law attorney.